21 June 2015

I will be okay.

13 June 2015

I Just Want You To Know That.

I am impatient. I like things to be planned. I like to be in control as much as possible how I want my life, or at least day, to turn out. I don't like to be kept in the unknown. I currently have very limited time due to multiple responsibilities that I am trying to juggle at the same time beside working as a houseman. So when I find the time to spend, it means that's the only free time that I manage to squeeze in for you. I want you to know that, I am not only looking for you when I am bored or stressed. I look for you when I have the time to do so.

I sometimes, may want to have some time alone. It's not that I choose to lock myself up inside the room and not that I don't want to be there with you, but that's the life I am having. That's the life I have chosen to live. That's the life that I think I want to dedicate myself to.

I can be pushy. I tend to put you in the stress. But please know that, it all happens after I have tried my very best to handle it alone. When I burst out, it means I have reached my maximum threshold of holding it in.

I know one day you might just decide enough is enough. This is not worth it. I do think about that possibility. And I have no idea whether I am able to handle it, if it really happens in the future.

And I am writing this here because I no longer have the ability to keep it all bottle up inside me.
 
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