Esok.

30 hari dah berlalu.

cuak.
seriau.
ngeri.
gelabah.
nervous.
berpeluh.


haish, macam nak kena sunat pula rasa.

"cukup ke usaha ni?"
"InsyaAllah."
"hmm... aku risau lah."
"Tawakal."

kawan kawan, doakan kejayaan saya dan mereka mereka yang ada kertas esok, okay?
tenkiu, korang memang hensem lah!

Loyar Buruk at its best.

Mom: tidur ke study?
Me: ada je ni.
Mom: kalau rasa apa apa cepat cepat bagitahu la
Me: adik rasa...... lapar.
Mom: poorah!

and yes this just happened literally a minute ago.

P.Y.T.

Pink yang Terunggul Tertekan.

Final Exam Rant #2

so here’s the thing.

just because i write (or tweet or say or blog or sing you get what i mean?) on something that kinda related to you and your life in a way, doesn’t mean i am talking about you.

say, when i talk about a person physical appearance, trust me, most probably that comes out while i am watching a movie/ series/ youtube/ etc. just because you resemble that physical attribute that i mention, doesn’t mean i am referring to you.

if you are pissed at me, because it’s somehow related to you and you are all butthurt, then you have to sue all the publications of dictionaries in the whole world (at the very least)  because ooohh baby, every dictionaries in the whole world have the words like Fat, Ugly, Short, Obese, Bitch, Stupid etc in it.

so buck up.

don’t be such a butthurt paranoid person.

after all, being able to poke fun at yourself is one of the main characteristics of a person with abundance of confidence.

people have been calling me names throughout my life, trust me. from my physical appearance ( i used to have buck teeth back in primary and trust me the name-callings i had received throughout the years were enough to shatter any living souls in this world into smithereens wtf¹) to my strict and occasionally bitchy attitudes but do i give a damn? Hell yeah! only if it’s constructive. but if it’s a negative one i will either wave it off or just turn it into a joke.

or better i will play it until it turns to be something that goes against him/her back. now that will be such a sweet, sweet revenge. ;)

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¹ yes i had braces before. why the surprise face? and yes i don't find any reason to deny/hide it as well. keep it real peeps.

Final Exam Rant #1

reading opthalmology department book is like reading shakespeare. both aren't the same thing but i can't really understand either one of them.

p.s. 8 days to go. nervous?

The RM5.90 Black Frame.

i am more of a mommy's little girl. whenever i have any problem i always turn to my mom for a shoulder to cry on and her hugs. in fact whenever i am online i always look for my mama and my abah knows this too well that everytime i buzzes them in YM if my mom aren't nearby he will quickly say "kejap lagi mama datang."

trust me, my dad is not the best conversation partner in the world a daughter can ask for. and both of us, having different fields of interests, doesn't help the matter much. you see, when i was the teenagers obviously i was sucked into the gossip world of celebrities and silly little stuff that girls would normally worried and talked about, but my dad of course were into footballs. every morning, when he drove to me to school, he would stop by the newspaper uncle by the roadside to get his copy and the first thing he would do was to ask me to check the latest score of the current *whatever* league.

fastforward to today, he is still into football as much as he was back then. the difference is, i am into football as well nowadays. except i am more into the players instead of the game if you know what i mean.

but despite how bad he is some times when it comes to cooking up a conversation with me, he still offers me the best advices. he still offers me the best protection a father can offer his daughter. and best of all, he still stands there, no matter how many times i have disappointed him with my reckless and rebelious attitudes.

point is, he is still there, patiently looking out for me.

when i was still in school, father's day would normally be celebrated with me giving ordinary, meaningless gifts. stuff that schoolkids could afford to buy from the giftshops. when i think about it nowadays, obviously those things i gave him back then wouldn't be useful much for a working fully grown, adult man. once i bought for him this cheap looking mini black frame with heart shape cutting for you to put a picture. he used that rm5.90 black frame to put a picture the two of us hugging each other with my panda plush toy, taken sometime in 1992 when we were having a vacation in cameron highland.

and until this day, the frame is still sitting proudly in the living room of our home. still bearing the very same picture of us together.

today marks the fifth time i am celebrating father's day without my abah besides me due to geographical reason (obviously). i truly miss having him here by my side. sometimes when i call him from cairo, he will bring up the subject of how time is passing by and how he may not be around for long anymore, and give me the same advices i've been hearing again and again.

i thought about my friends whose fathers' are not here with them anymore and somehow i can't imagine myself without one. not now, and of course, not in the future.

some of them told me how they miss theirs so much and regretted what they had done in the past. a friend of mine keeps reminding me to cherish my parents as long as they're still breathing right here with me.

and maybe this is not the best Father's Day dedication out there for i am not the best writer our there, but today, i am writing this for you, to let you know that despite how awkward our conversations YM some times, despite how we rarely chatted with each others because we some times have no topics to talk about (and also because mama always hogs the notebook to play facebook ngahahaha okay joking mom, i am joking), and even though some times i love to annoy when you're driving by asking you the question of "are we there yet?" again and again every 30 minutes, only to get "tu tengok la kilometer tepi jalan tu sendiri" as the answer, i just want to let you know today that i really love you lots.

Happy Father's Day.

Masculinism.

"...there's only two kind of humans in this world. one is the male. and the other one being the pseudo-male."

"...41 years old circle and arrow.. what? it's not male. no. this is circle with an arrow."

"...you see people always say the patient is the female and the disease is cholesteatoma. this is wrong. the patient is cholesteatoma and the disease is the female."

"...a 9 years old female... ahh you see, if a female is nine years she is old but not in a male. a 39 years old male is still a child. like me."

"male patient presented with unilateral facial paralysis... must be he saw his fiance without makeup."

"39 years old male has motor car accident... must be his wife driving the car, that's why they got into an accident"

"a male patient... no! this is not a good question. there is an error. change it to female."

---

i am a feminist (mostly) but seriously, this time i also kenot tahan to laugh at his jokes. there are more but these are the ones that i could recall. and of course, all the above quotes were taken throughout the year during my ENT tuition with none other, Dr. Mohamed Saad.

"Garang" is my middle name

so i have quite the reputation for being "garang" among some of the peeps/juniors in cairo. my first ever infamous line was the "Kompang! Ready!" about a year plus ago when a group of juniors didn't really listen to my instructions.

second outburst was of course a few months back regarding the On Time issue. that one i was really angry my whole body was shaking with fury no joke. but of course, it was all in the past and i already forgot all about it! :D

but since that "Time" incident involved some of my classmates, somehow most of them are affected by it as it was proven today right after the lecture.

so adik Naz (bukan nama sebenar lah kot) asked me to count the number of students interested in joining this upcoming ENT revision. so i just stood up and counted roughly. but i didn't manage to get those who were sitting on the other site of the lecture hall from where i was sitting because they were relatively far and i couldn't really see who was actually holding their hands up or who weren't.

i was actually (secretly) hoping for someone from over there to count the number to be added to my counted number. but adik Naz insisted on me counting all of them, so to make things easier for me, i simply said,"wei korang angkat la tangan betul betul!" a bit louder than what i had intended to, so that i would get the attention and that would make things easier for me wtf.

but i guess it came out sound a bit wrong especially the intonation because the reaction to that line of mine was simply hilarious (to me of course). lolololol!

i guess some of them are still traumatised with my garang-ness wtf.

p.s. anyway i think i want to apologize if i ever scold anyone who is reading this post (especially mangsa mangsa di masa lampau wtf). trust me, i don't want to lose my coolness ever but i am only human and sometimes i lose my patience easily.

trust me, i do get angry easily but i pacify just as quick. no hard feeling okay? *sends virtual non-ikhtilat friendship hugs wtf*

pinksterz's guide on how to control your online time

you're a medical school student and yet, you are always online, almost 24/7 from what i observe. how do you do it?

the above is one of the most frequent questions i keep getting from my friends back in malaysia. you see, most people have this general idea of how a medical student should be; a specky nerdy bookworm who studies all the time reading up thick text book and memorising lots of facts and s/he has no life.

sorry to say, but that doesn't apply to all medical students from what i see. hey, we do know how to have fun as well!

anyway back to the question.

in short i can say, being online (despite the status is either really away, busy or just simply online) doesn't mean i am entertaining people, chatting with them all the time. of course appearing invisible is an option but from my personal experience i will more likely to end up chatting when i am invisible.

you see i have this theory which of course i credited to my extraordinarily awesome self wtf.

when you're offline, most of your buddies will be busy wondering what you've been up to while you're gone. so when you actually sign in and appear to everyone, and somehow your buddies are online at the same time as well, they will automatically say hi!

and then you've to entertain them for "catching up purpose" because you two keep "missing each other sooooooo much lah!" and without realising that this will somehow eat up your time more than how much you intend to spend online. of course, this does not apply if you have a good self discipline and are awesome with time keeping!

so in the end, you will be cursing your own self (and of course, your friends if you have thin patience just like yours - extraordinarily awesome - truly self wtf) for wasting the time and rush to finish whatever works you still have in your to-do list.

but...

if you're always online and your friend keep seeing you in their list most of the time, eventually they won't bother to bother you anymore. HAHA! true story.

because it's torturingly boring to keep asking for updates on almost daily basis.

"HOI! Pe Che?!" (which stands for apa cerita in malay, which translate to "hey! what's up?"). sorry sir, but i am no Ms. Enid Blyton to whip out new different stories for you on daily basis.

unless you are living a great awesome lives like those in the movies where you go shop at all the high end boutiques and eat out at 5 star restaurants all day long then of course you friend won't be bored to death listening to how you're living your life.

DAY 1: "oh today i go to class"

DAY 2: "oh today i go to class also"

DAY 3: "oh today i still go to class. but i arrive a bit late lah"

but if that still fails, you still have the option to actually say NO with the phrase,"sorry geng. gua busy sekarang ada kerja no bluff. perhaps next time okay? muah!"

of course the "muah" at the end is optional wtf.

i am not saying nor promoting that you shouldn't keep in touch with your friends. in fact i make it a thing to at least say hi to my lovelies once in few weeks time. i am just saying this from my personal experience and how i come up with solutions. things that work for me doesn't mean it will work as well for you.

now, off you go. i need to go study. perhaps next time i update my blog again okay? muah wtf.

Another Mind Boggling Question

serius gua tak faham apasal musim peperiksaan di Mesir adalah sinonim dengan sindrom Demam Nak Kahwin atau yang sewaktu dengannya akan melanda pelajar pelajar sini.

masa ni la semua sibuk fikir nak pasangan, nak kapel/mapel, nak gerpren/boipren bagai. semua boleh dilihat dari status kengkawan di facebook dan tak kurang yang akan update belog dengan tazkirah berkaitan dengan isu ini seperti "mak saya nak kahwin!".

gua ni fikir bab exam tu je pun gua rasa dah nak pecah otak. perkataan exam tu je dah buat gua tak senang duduk, gelabah, cuak, seriau, cemas, berpeluh peluh, ngeri, mimpi buruk berhari hari serta cirit birit semua.

CEMANA KORANG BOLEH FIKIR BAB KAHWIN?????
TOLONG KASI PENCERAHAN PADA ANA YANG SERBA KEKURANGAN NI.

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p.s. post ini tidak bertujuan memerli mana mana pihak. gua saja tulis sebab gua memang terfikir cemana korang boleh ada masa nak fikir benda lain selain buku yang berlambak nak dihabiskan tu, pelajaran dan ilmu yang nak disumbat dalam otak. ajar lah gua cemana korang juggle masa please?